Life lessons and mental health...

I’m terrified of needles.

Like, fu*king sh*t scared of them. So much so that, when partner Jack pokes me with a toothpick, I panic. When I was a kid, I was hanging out with a friend who was wild - a whole lot of fun - but also took things a little too far. She had heard from someone that, if you inject an air bubble into someone’s veins, they’ll die. As a joke, she went to her mum’s first aid kit, which happened to have a needle in it. She looked at me with a smile and said: ‘Let’s see if it’s true…’ And proceeded to chase me, screaming, and terrified around the yard. I ended up running home. Though I know now she was joking - I was young, and it traumatised me.

Yesterday I went to get my first jab. I was fine (kind of) all week, and told myself I was ‘excited’ to do it, so we could go see my family. And travel. I hate asking for help, I’ve always felt it makes me weak. But, I asked Jack to come with me to keep me distracted. When we got there, and sat down, the nurse turned around holding the needle - and I flipped. Couldn’t breath. Trembling hands. On the verge of passing out. When I say I’m scared, I mean it It took a bit of time for me to calm down enough for Jack to hold my hand and say ‘just look in my eyes’ - a quick prick and it was done. Super easy. And I know that it is that simple…but, I just can’t shake that damn trauma response. Jack and I went for ice cream and walked along the beach that afternoon, and though I hate that he saw me ‘in that state’ - vulnerable & weak - I was so grateful he was there. The lesson I learnt yesterday…if you face your fear, you get ice-cream after. So it’s worth it! And... it’s okay to ask for help when you need it! Really, this is they message I want to share today. It’s okay to need others. We’re only human! We all have fears, doubts and moments of ‘weakness’ - we should never be afraid to reach out! Our mental & physical health is no joke. Unfortunately, many will let their physical health suffer when they are on a journey of achieving their dream body, or learning to become confident in their skin. Extreme dieting, and a lack of knowledge around the 'healthy' approaches has led many people down a dark path - but, that's a blog for another day. Just as physical health suffers, mental health so often takes a hit. We live in a very fast-paced and 'anxiety' driven society. We all have a LOT to do each day, are surrounded by never-ending stimulus from social media, phones, televisions, advertisements and those around us. It is conducive to stress and, because it has become our 'norm' the negative impact it can have on our mental health goes either unnoticed or untreated. Mental health - more specifically, reaching out for help for mental health - has a negative stigma. Many do not share when they are struggling, when they need support and do not get help if they need it for fear of being judges or seen as 'weak.' But, being able to admit when we do need help, is really a sign of strength. It took me a long, long time to start sharing when I was struggling in life - and even longer to take that first step into beginning therapy - where I discovered I had extreme anxiety and am now being treated for this through cognitive behavioural therapy - whilst also looking into potential, further mental health diagnosis. It changed my life for the better - it is making me a better partner, daughter, friend, and will make me a better mother. So, though the small thing of asking for company when I needed to get a needle doesn't seem like much...it's a sign that we are able to recognise when we do need help, and we are not letting the judgement of others stop us from looking after ourselves. Spend time today, and this week, reflecting on YOU. How are you? Really, how are you going? Do you need some extra support, some time with a loved one to just chill out, someone to chat with about life, would reaching out for professional help actually help you if you have noticed your mental health is not where it should be?

Be strong, and look after yourself - you're the only one who really will ;) - Lauren x